Almost every time I fly, it seems like I get pulled aside for the random explosives trace detection test. I always assumed it was because I usually look like a crazy mountain man (see photo). But, if you google around for “airport random explosives test”, you’ll find forum posts from security staff assuring everyone they’re not doing profiling, and even a helpful FAQ from Newcastle Airport (“Why are you always chosen for ‘explosive testing’?“) which says the process is “as the officer finishes screening one person, they are required to ask the next person walking through screening to undertake the ETD test”.
So maybe it’s just bad luck. Except possibly for that time at Hobart airport last week, where I was seeing off a colleague after linux.conf.au 2017. As far as I could tell, we were the only two people approaching security, and my colleague was in front. He was waved through to the regular security screening, and I was asked over for an explosives test, to which I replied “you’re most welcome to test me if you like, but I’m not actually going through security into departures”. The poor guy looked a bit nonplussed at this, then moved on to the next traveler who’d since appeared in line behind us.
What to do about this in future? Obviously, I need a new t-shirt, with text something like one of these:
If anyone else would like a t-shirt along these lines, the images above conveniently link to my Redbubble store. Or, if you’d rather DIY, there’s PNGs here, here and here (CC-BY-SA as usual, and no, they’re not broken, it’s white text on a transparent background).